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The agony that I not satisfied with the turbine in my mind. He also wants my body.

There is no body and soul. And there is the reality.

the world is there, and continues to turn. Everything revolves. Every turn. But at the same time, I still like dead fish gallggianti polluted lagoon.

I look at them undeterred. In some moments are totally annihilated. A few minutes later, I caught a bad of life that makes me want to call me at home to be picked up at school. My soul is not breathing, and fell to the ground and crawl away like a worm from this site where my body should be. What am I doing here? I do not belong here.

But I'm straight and composed, I take notes while I ignore my inner cry.

My days are presses that squeeze me. The bla-bla fired into the air with no direction, the laughter from his horse, human selfishness, the narrow-mindedness, a classmate during class that you squeeze the fat life looking for the ribs, the nature that the I passed grins, competition, expectations and claims of the past, the tears in my eyes and knocking them to the background if I did not quit. All of this is squeezing me. In every sense.

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Yesterday my image was compared by one person to the moon. I was moved, but I tried in every way to hold back the tears because no one had ever talked that way. I thought to be invisible, but apparently for some are not.
... despite the blandishments received today I found myself kneeling in front of the toilet, singing "Wonderwall" by Oasis at my reflection ... on which I inevitably threw up.
qusto A point I do not know what is happening or what I should do to drive this monster. Warn who, day after day, you know merging with my soul. The obsession of the bones, the hate towards the food, the poisonous words have become part of me.

The classmates who seemed wanted to be my friend, have lunch together today and went to the movies. Although until a few days ago I had always been with them, I was not invited. I can easily guess the reason ... had planned the menu for a week. I do not care much to be with these people, because even as a result of my voluntary isolation, one of them in particular has started to behave very childish (eg, during the time of drawing, did everything that I felt they were going to the movies).
Frankly, I prefer the company of Dostoevsky.

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Young Deaf

This evening we attended a roundtable on The lives of young deaf and after compulsory schooling, what? Jordi Perelló to CREDA Sabadell center, where Ada and servers we go to speech therapy on Tuesdays and Thursday afternoons. The track is gorgeous and occasionally lectures and conferences are held to train parents and encourage them to relate to each other.
The auditorium was full to overflowing and had to add chairs. Because we have no grandfather who can make close to nursery, we went to the roundtable with the Ada trusting that sleep, but this has not happened ... While we hoped that everything began, has been engaged to take him to the pacifier and then another boy pulled the sleeve of a lady who had sat beside her. When the director has begun to introduce the participants began to call mom-mom-mom with all the force of his lungs and a charitable soul has become the center position, but after a few minutes had to resign because Ada claimed parents crying, so Alberto have been out and missed all the speeches.
The table had three girls and three boys with varying degrees of deafness and aged between 17 and 23 years. One, born premature, had been implanted 11 years old and now studying Engineering at university. Another combines work and Journalism degree (having already completed the Humanities), and had begun a third year teacher. A quarter of 23 years, is married and works in a hairdresser. The other two, younger, do school. All six expressed correctly, but I was particularly shocked because of Journalism student speaker could work without anyone notes anything unusual in his speech. And they put the two headphones and a half years!
Their testimonies have been extremely positive, and I have drawn the following conclusions:

• is important that parents work at home with the child and do not ever lose hope and confidence in their abilities .
  
• the extent that parents and children naturally accept the hearing, their integration into society will be better. If we isolate ourselves, others we isolate. The relationship with
• / speech and language therapist should be very close, because who better knows the child's behavior and progress in school.
• must vocalize Although the words and repeat as many times as is necessary for our son understands the fine. It is also important to put his height to better understand the message.
  
• reading contributes to language acquisition, we encourage it! The deaf
• develop skills (eg observation) to help them better understand others and understand their moods.
• The deaf can interact with the listeners have no problems making friends with ease depends mainly on their character.
  
• A deaf can reach as far as is proposed, although most teachers have to ask or search strategies to solve everyday problems. It is important to inform others of the limitations involved in the hearing and ask for help without being ashamed of it.

The boy and the girl who wore cochlear implants have agreed on the fact that the listening experience is clearer than with headphones and receive voice in a much clearer (less noise is amplified). Listen

all these guys has been an injection of energy and optimism. The desire to learn the plans, the special relationship that they had s'entreveia with parents ... They were young common, at least not as they appear in the television series. I have sent a lot of confidence en el futur, no en el de nomes until the Ada en el de la Societät en general! :) -----------------------------------------------
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This afternoon we attended a meeting on "the lives of young deaf and after school, what?" CREDA at Jordi Perelló of Sabadell, the center where Ada and I go to speech therapy every Tuesday and Thursday afternoon. The achievement is magnificent and occasionally organize meetings and conferences for training parents and animate them to relate to each other.
The hall was packed and there was the need to add chairs. As we have no grandfather who lives next to leave as Ada, we went with the hope that the lioness to fall asleep, but it did not happen ... While we were waiting it began, Ada hath been dedicated to steal another child's pacifier, and after pulling the shirt of a lady who was sitting at his side. When the Director has proposed the participants began to scream mama-mama-mama with all the force of his lungs and charitable soul of the center took care of her, but after a few minutes had to give up the task as Ada cried and we tried, so Albert had to go out and have lost all the activities of the different participants.
Among the participants who recounted their experiences there were three girls and three boys with varying degrees deafness and aged between 17 and 23 years. One of them was born prematurely, had put a cochlear implant at 11 years and is now studying industrial engineering at the university. Another combination of work and the School of Journalism (having already finished Humanities), and a third began teaching this year. A fourth, aged 23, married and worked in a hairdresser. The other two, most guys do in high school. All six are fluent, but I was especially impressed with the journalism student because it could work as a presenter and nobody noted nothing unusual in his talk. And put hearing aids in two and a half!
Their testimonies were very positive, and I drew the following conclusions:

• is important that parents work at home with their children and not lose hope and faith in their abilities.
• The more parents and children naturally accept deafness especially their integration into society will be good. If we isolate ourselves, others will isolate. The relationship with the
• / speech therapist must be very strong because it is the person who knows the child's behavior and progress in school.
• We vocalize well and repeat the words as many times as it is needed to understand why our children well. is also important to get the same height for a better understanding of the message.
• reading contributes to the acquisition of language, we must promote it!
• Deaf people develop skills (such as observation skills) that help them better understand and to understand the moods of people.
• Deaf people can relate to people who are not deaf without problems, the ease with which make friends primarily depends on the character.
• A deaf can go far, and no matter if it is to ask more questions to professors or to seek strategies to solve everyday problems. It is important to inform other restrictions involving deafness and ask for help without shame.

The boy and the girl who wore cochlear implants were in agreement that the listening experience is clearer than with the hearing and receiving the voice more clear (the background noise is amplified less).

Listening to these guys was a shot of energy and optimism. The desire to learn the plans, the relationship is so special that they perceived that their parents ... Boys were not common, at least not as those who are in the television show. They gave me great hope in the future, not only in Ada, but also society in general

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More Than It Seems

Is my Imagination running away or is

all this really happening to me?

Am ia prince in a far away land filled with fantasy?

Where is reality and what are the actions

That will define who i am?

I am holding on to the visions I've seen

of What I Could be...it's what i should be.

More than it seems these dreams inside

...blur reality's line...

If i could believe in dreams aside

i am capable more than it seems.

Passing trough the darkness into my own world

will i be more than when i left?

Never letting go of the lessons i learned

this will make a change...a change within me.

This time i won't run away

i found the strenght to face life's long days

... this time i will not run away ...

'Till there's nothing left for me, show me the way to These Dreams.

Every day I feel more of a dragon in an aviary.

The positive side of this situation is that, slowly 'm dropping weight. This leads me to be more efficient and more determined in all fields. It awakens in me the desire to save my dreams, more than once in recent times, I considered totally lost. I'm losing weight because, after eating, vomiting. I am aware of the consequences of this habit, but so brutally expelled from my body substance that nourishes me cheers.

Some people around me have changed, and consequently my coportamento against them is.

The current situation has given me the ability to detach further from the school in which I live. I'm not involved in anything, and that makes me feel good. I'm free, lightweight, with no restrictions.

There are always the same episodes on the agenda in which I offered to eat (in my class, unfortunately, not think of anything else), but I am firm in my decisions, and always refuse. I do not care if they are the only one who does not eat all, let alone their reaction.